Abhi’s Philofunda of the day – Behind every succesful woman, there is a nice bu*t. Behind every successful man, there are 2890473 women!!

I love AIRTEL. Yes I do.. I just fell in love with it!

Mobile service providers – no matter who they are – are the guys we love to hate (oops.. shooted off another of my clichés). Unlike, all the mobile-connection-bashers Ive just fallen in love with them. These guys put a broad smile on my face in the morning.

I got a call from the customer feedback department (the department that bores all the crap) asking me for my feedback. The girl on the other side was a mallu.. how did I make it out?? Actually, this one was very easy – I dint have to use my superlative intelligence for it!. She was a proper lolla kutty! Yeah dudies, she had this major lolla accent. Her accent gave her in man!

For a moment I thought this was some kinda prank.. End of it i was in splits man!

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Excerpts from the conversation:
Lolla Kutty (LK): Hallo Saar.. My name iz Ruby. Im calling from Aairtale Kastomer Kare. Can you spare a few minutes saar.
Me: Yeah…
(Bloody Hell, check out her accent man!! F**k, I don’t have recorder on my mobile)
LK: Saar is this the first kaal from Airtel, you getting?
ME: Yes
(Who cares abt the call.. Her “saar” is way too cool man!)
LK: Saar, u dint get a kaal last month after ure bill?
Me: Yeah, I got that…
(Y does she have that short syllable “aa” after everything… billa for bill. Heck, Ive gotta stop giglling. Im in office man!!)
LK: Wasi the Reprezentativa polight and carteez?
ME: Excuse me?
(What was that.. Missed that by 25 lightyears! Man, people are thinking im listening to a standup comedy on phone)
LK (guess, she heard my muffled laughter.. she was pretty serious and repeated that again): Wazz the Reprezentativa polight and carteaouz?
Me: yes… hahahahaha
(Shit! That was Polite and Courteous.. That was wicked man!! I wanna repeat my schooling in her school! Damn, did she hear my laugh)
LK: mumble.. jumble.. grumble… tumble…
(some crap I could not comprehend… I’m chocking, trying to stop laughing… GOSH!! That polite thing was something!!)
LK: Anything else you have to say saar?
ME: No thank you… muahahahahaha…..
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That was it.. I actually had to disconnect the call… She was just awesome man!! I may have been rude.. But had to laught out loud!!
Keep hoping and praying that you get a call from them soon… She really made my day!!! Thank you lolla kutty..

Abhi’s PhiloFunda for the day – Throw crap around with caution… U miss the aim, ull be standing on it!

Wanted: Kalanishkov (AK-56 preferred). Working Condition (able to silence two morons). Preferably for short rent. Will pay by credit card (no money in the bank).

That’s not an ad by an associate by the D-company or a naxal (a.k.a. vijay). That’s an ad by a straight frustrated male soul (Does soul have a gender – another of my stupid questions!), who has a “Gay at home and Gay at work”. Sounds like a kinky song for the not-so-straight guys? Kick the fun aside man!

For the uninitiated (do I love clichés or what!), my roomie has been off for abt a week. He was back today. So tonite I can expect some cozy scenes at my place. Imagine the situation (this is not any role play crap, this is real man!!)

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Ur are sleeping in ur room. Its around 3 – 330 Am in the morning. U wake up to the sounds of hisses and whispers. Its takes the Bangalore chill to make u realize you are not dreaming. U look around the dark room.. It takes your pupils a while to adjust to the low light.. What do you see!! Two guys in a 2’5” ft X 6 ft bed coochi cooing under a blanket. U wish u were dreaming and go back to sleep...

U get up in the morning and rush outta the place, after a decent but rather rushed session of ablutions. Reach office. Read mails. Have Coffee. Check mails again. Wait for that ever eluding mood that has “Lets get some work done” written on it.

Then pop comes the creature into ur cabin. U can hear the theme music of Jaws playing in ur head. He asks u a question… but all you can see is the way he flutters his eyes!! This time you wish this creature was a female!! Then u let your eyes wander over him, and sadly give up all hopes. End of it you try and get over all this and wish u would hit home soon..

End of the day: U take a long way through the one-ways in Bangalore which remind of the puzzle in Jumanji. U don’t wanna go home.. Thinking abt what’s in store for you at home. No its not a steaming dinner on the table! Its not a blonde in the bath tub! It’s the daisy-flashy guy with whom u share the room (It’s only the freaking room, Mind you!!)

U feel like a prisoner on a gay island!!

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Anyways, life gotta go on. So I go an drown myself in one of the may bars in Bangalore (that are as common as the pani puri stalls in hyd).

I know I’ve been cribbing abt these guys all the time & to everyone like there is no tomorrow. I cant help it, I don’t have anything better to do!! Muahahahahahahaaa…

Now playing: 21 questions – 50 cents. Ask Sam boy for song. Our very own napster has a copy!!

P.S. PhiloFunda – Philosophical Funda!! Trust me for adding to the weight of the dictionary on VJs desk! Yo Man! That actually is this weirdo’s creation.