Abhi’s PhiloFunda for the day – Throw crap around with caution… U miss the aim, ull be standing on it!

Wanted: Kalanishkov (AK-56 preferred). Working Condition (able to silence two morons). Preferably for short rent. Will pay by credit card (no money in the bank).

That’s not an ad by an associate by the D-company or a naxal (a.k.a. vijay). That’s an ad by a straight frustrated male soul (Does soul have a gender – another of my stupid questions!), who has a “Gay at home and Gay at work”. Sounds like a kinky song for the not-so-straight guys? Kick the fun aside man!

For the uninitiated (do I love clichés or what!), my roomie has been off for abt a week. He was back today. So tonite I can expect some cozy scenes at my place. Imagine the situation (this is not any role play crap, this is real man!!)

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Ur are sleeping in ur room. Its around 3 – 330 Am in the morning. U wake up to the sounds of hisses and whispers. Its takes the Bangalore chill to make u realize you are not dreaming. U look around the dark room.. It takes your pupils a while to adjust to the low light.. What do you see!! Two guys in a 2’5” ft X 6 ft bed coochi cooing under a blanket. U wish u were dreaming and go back to sleep...

U get up in the morning and rush outta the place, after a decent but rather rushed session of ablutions. Reach office. Read mails. Have Coffee. Check mails again. Wait for that ever eluding mood that has “Lets get some work done” written on it.

Then pop comes the creature into ur cabin. U can hear the theme music of Jaws playing in ur head. He asks u a question… but all you can see is the way he flutters his eyes!! This time you wish this creature was a female!! Then u let your eyes wander over him, and sadly give up all hopes. End of it you try and get over all this and wish u would hit home soon..

End of the day: U take a long way through the one-ways in Bangalore which remind of the puzzle in Jumanji. U don’t wanna go home.. Thinking abt what’s in store for you at home. No its not a steaming dinner on the table! Its not a blonde in the bath tub! It’s the daisy-flashy guy with whom u share the room (It’s only the freaking room, Mind you!!)

U feel like a prisoner on a gay island!!

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Anyways, life gotta go on. So I go an drown myself in one of the may bars in Bangalore (that are as common as the pani puri stalls in hyd).

I know I’ve been cribbing abt these guys all the time & to everyone like there is no tomorrow. I cant help it, I don’t have anything better to do!! Muahahahahahahaaa…

Now playing: 21 questions – 50 cents. Ask Sam boy for song. Our very own napster has a copy!!

P.S. PhiloFunda – Philosophical Funda!! Trust me for adding to the weight of the dictionary on VJs desk! Yo Man! That actually is this weirdo’s creation.