Star Wars

When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. – Persian proverb

For me the stars have always been:

> Serene: For the cold blue light they give during the summer evenings.
> Expensive: Of all the times I do mischief, I get caught during the night. Be it jumping over the girlfriend’s balcony, smoking at the end of the street thinking dad is fast asleep, shouting Australia m******d after India loses to them…
> Romantic: Picture this. Summer evenings. Girl by your side. Corner seats at Eatstreet, facing the tankbund. Chocolate Cake and Irish Coffee. Millions of stars in the horizon. Need I say more?
> A cool thing to add to your gaali: You burger..Don’t yap okay? I give you one.. you will see stars in your day.. all your grandfather hau***s.. – From Mumbai by Javed Jaffrey (OST Bombay Boys).

But today, they mean something else to me – tragedy, darkness, heartbreak, but impossible to avoid!

Few days back, I fell and felt in love for the 32483rd time! It was with this girl whose profile was put up in BM (bharatmatrimony for the uninitiated). This one was straight out of the south-indian saas-bahu serials (pinni, tulasi, chakravakam etc..). Lovely eyes. Dimples. Perfect pretty smile. You know the temple-going types. The ones that are favs for any MIL. I quickly sent across a “I'm am interested”, “will marry you”, “would do anything for you” etc kinda message.
While I was humming ilayraja’s tunes, and dreaming of a honeymoon in the Arabian sea, something happened. I get a mail from her father. They declined. Reason – stars did not match. :(

Apparently, my horoscope is supposed to be really good (like I care a damn if it is good) but sadly matches with only a few. I don’t deny that I am inclined towards astrology, and do believe in it to an extent. But would definitely say F******* to the stars if I have to lose a pretty girl.

What about all the couples in the west? Are stars the reason they get easily separated. What about all the couples who either decide to break away from families or elope? Are there not many who are happy? - The hitches of being an obedient son. I should have eloped when I would I have enjoyed it.

This is so unfair. Have you ever seen a dog not mate during the mating season, and wait for the astrologer? Have you ever known a horse breeder who matches the stars of the stud with other horse before letting them mate. - The perils of being a human being.

All this brings me back to the original question - Is marriage necessary at all?

Like the previous couple of days, the follow matrimony ads did put back the cheer in my life:

HAVE MORE PATIENTS AND NOT SO BEAUTIFUL AND GOOD UNDERSTANDING
Patients? Works part time in a hospital.

I am a GSA working in an 4 Star hotel in Hyderabad.I love to party on weekends currently with parents, i have 2 sisters both married.my father was expire. I go for movies, watch cricket and i love music music etc, Looking for someone who is bubbly and likes to explore new things along with me.
Party with parents on weekend? Where? In Birla mandir? Father was expire? And above all she works in the hospitality industry. But overall I like her. Again one of those kinky types who likes to explore new things…

im a bold person and needs a guy who cares me and will take care of me.im having good complexion having homely face.
Bold but looks homely! Sita and Gita rolled into one.

I AM AN NORMAL GIRL WITH A JOLLY MOOD. I HAVE PASSION ON ARTS AND NATURE BEAUTY. FROM MY CHILDHOOD I HAVE BEEN LIVING CHENNAI ONLY. LITTLE PERSONAL ABOUT ME MEANS. I AM LITTLE TALKATIVE AND MORE FRINDLY TO EVERYONE. MY STRENGTH MAKING FRIENDS. MY CONFIDENT MY FAMILY. I BELEIVE MYSELF MORE DEPENDING ON OTHERS.
Jolly – That’s a word on every tamilian’s profile. And that’s the only part of it I understood. Jolly Jolly confusing I say. Rascalaaa!!

I AM VERY GOOD IN COOKING(both veg&non-veg),I HAVE FINISHED B.B.A,
Can cook Chinese and north Indian too..

My Sister is very honest and good girl . She is good in studies and she coocks food very testy. Free & frank.
Coocks food? I am going to skip my lunch today :(

Deranged marriage

Been a long time.. In the long time, been there done that.. So no more flashbacks. No more revolving tortoise coils in the background. I am here to make a new start.. a new beginning!
The news is me getting married.. rather trying to get married. Finally I have given into parental pressure and have agreed to get married. This time, thankfully for them, its a girl of their choice. So me is the king now.. Me can pick and choose.. Me can ask her anything.. oh yeah! ME IS THE KING! :D (i can see laks, joy, and molay infuriated)

Apart from the usual freinds, foes, family, and other contacts; my parents have promptly gone ahead and embraced technology. They have me registered in Bharatmatrimony and Shaadi.com. So now, its prime time comedy every single day! Why? Read on to find some of the profiles that Bharatmatrimony thinks are good matches for me. Names have been withheld without request. Also, my thoughts about each of the profiles..

OURS is neuclar family consisting one daughter and son, hailing from west godavari tradational and educated, searching for same lines for a groom either side of software engineer or doctor or army or IPS or IAS.My daughter is an soft ware engineer brought up in a educated atmosphere under tradational shelter.
Educated atmosphere and traditional shelter … bole toh kya re?

father of bride is an ex.execute of bank and now practising advoate AND mother is house wife and the son is prosecuting engineering
forget abt the spelling mistakes.. WTF is “prosecuting engineering”??


She is looking very homely.she respected our traditional values. we are joint family, she loses her father,she is having mother and two younger sisters. one sister is working as a opthamalasist and another one is doing her graduation.mother is house wife.

She looks like a home. She has a doorbell, windows with curtains, etc..

i am very nice person & talkative& bubbly i am very intleegentperson i am pursuming btech and final year
She is indeed a brilliant person and all that.. just look at her spellings man! Not content with Oxford, she has come up with a dictionary of her own.

hii...m a very flexi kind of girl n wish to njoy every movement n love to
She is made of rubber!!!

i am calm n simple girl................
i belomg to very good n decent family............
i am mot a choosy type person...........
I can use more periods than you, here you go……………………………

im a person of love,caring,sentimental,emotinal,beautiful n wt not..,u will know me when u talk to me..,
Modesty at its best!! n what not????

I am a naughty girl . I am looking for a guy who is to be take care of me alot .Looking for someone who is bubbly and likes to explore new things along with me.I like to go to movies in every weekend.
Naughty? Explore new things along with me? Sounds kinky!! Go spanking baby!!

i'm dark skinned but very fast learner.i'm a short tempered.i can take good care of the family.i'm a modern thinker and open minded.i like to be cared and loved.i don't like people who very possessive.
Dark skinned BUT very fast learner. Never knew the color of your skin determined you learning abilities. In that case, I am very learning-impaired! :(

In my childhood my mother knows Jesus Christ. I also fallowed her way. I tasted Jesus. So we search a guy who is accepted Jesus in life.
Tasted?? Amen!

i am telling very honest.and i am doing B.TECH 2nd year, in any case i did not get any angry(kopam).i like dolls very much.the person(i mean lifepartner)which i am choose his soul (manchi manasu).i am thinking your are looking handsome by by by.
She is the satan man.. takes your soul (manchi manasu). She is thinking I am looking handsome. By by by. I love this girl :)

I am back!!

Raju ban gaya gentleman!!

No, this post is not about Sharukh.. This post is not about the Satyam CEO.. Its about Dev anand also.. Its about the Raju inside every Indian nowadays (to be more specific then-middle-class-now-upper-middle-class).

Admit it, all Indians have a Raju inside them... We dream.. We aspire.. We sweat our bones out... We ACHIEVE. What we dont see is that at the end of it we are gonna lose all that we keep and more.

Check this post on rediff.. US offers advanced fighter aircraft to India

Now lets do a reality check..

Indians, are stealing (thats wht the goras say) jobs from developed countries. We are all happy about the fact that we are now slowly becoming a major power on earth. Economists, Analysts, and Financial gurus are predicting that "India shall rule the world". A lot of foriegn money is coming into India. We ARE taking their money, agreed! But what are doing out of it? In the last 10 years, we have had most of the international sellers come over to India.. Hawking everything and anything money can buy. From MacDonalds to Tommy - virtually EVERYONE! We pay anywhere from 2K-5K for a pair of sneakers at Nike, Adidas, Reebok. The same quality Bata is less than half that price.

The end result - All the money we earn from them goes back to the US... and much more actually. How come much more? Dumb question! You forgot that shiny peice of plastic in your wallet called a Credit Card? Its all the FII money, that the banks are letting you spend and pay intrest on!

And now with the Aircraft deal with US.. All tax-payers of this country will contribute to pay a Yankie scientist's salary, with IQ that of an ass when compared to an equally qualified Indian!

So watch out all the Raju's.. You may not remain a gentleman for long, if you dont stop paying 10 bucks for a bottle chilled pesticide!!

Current Song: Nalin bhai ka fav - Just chill chill

Current Mood: Upset

Abhi’s Philofunda of the day – You only get what you deserve. Want more? Steal your neighbor’s share.

Well, this is gonna be one philo blog entry you’ve read in ur life..

First things first… Due apologies to all the folks in hyd for meeting you guys up.. Things were pretty hectic that day.. Anyways, I guess oracle had other plans for you..

Today, I've learnt the most valuable lesson of my life.. The only thing you can be certain about is uncertainty.

Picture this..

I attend a two-week grueling training course.. In which – surprising – I did OK. I mean I dint screw any of the labs. I could answer few of the instructor’s questions.. After a pretty long time, I had got back into the thick of things as far profession goes.

I came into office today morning, with all the sprit in earth – like I'm going to take over Sikander in a one-to-one combat.. But, I flash forward to reality.. The only emails I had received during this 2-week period were “Good Bye”, “My Last Day” and “Keep in touch” etc, very similar to the peoplesoft phase.

It is a known phenomenon that the world is become a specialized playground.. There is a rather high benchmark to the number and quality of players that it can accommodate. The result – the big players are buying out the smaller ones.. The smaller players are actually being paid to simply stop playing and quit the field. This is all fine. The global economy needs Bigger, Better and Bitchier organizations to move on, to innovate, to excel – above all, to be able to contribute better to the society.

But what I hate is the void that goes on during the process. They decide whether the smaller players are going to sit in the stands and JUST watch the action, whether they are going to behind the play line and give in only their ideas? Or are they going to lock heads with the big daddies and get mauled?

I dont care wht happens to which company.. All I can now think about is about my decision to move over to Bangalore.

Whoever said - There is always a better tomorrow – must have surely been drinking.

Current Mood - Contemplative

Current Song - Winds of Change - Scorpions

Abhi’s Philofunda of the day – Behind every succesful woman, there is a nice bu*t. Behind every successful man, there are 2890473 women!!

I love AIRTEL. Yes I do.. I just fell in love with it!

Mobile service providers – no matter who they are – are the guys we love to hate (oops.. shooted off another of my clichés). Unlike, all the mobile-connection-bashers Ive just fallen in love with them. These guys put a broad smile on my face in the morning.

I got a call from the customer feedback department (the department that bores all the crap) asking me for my feedback. The girl on the other side was a mallu.. how did I make it out?? Actually, this one was very easy – I dint have to use my superlative intelligence for it!. She was a proper lolla kutty! Yeah dudies, she had this major lolla accent. Her accent gave her in man!

For a moment I thought this was some kinda prank.. End of it i was in splits man!

#########################################
Excerpts from the conversation:
Lolla Kutty (LK): Hallo Saar.. My name iz Ruby. Im calling from Aairtale Kastomer Kare. Can you spare a few minutes saar.
Me: Yeah…
(Bloody Hell, check out her accent man!! F**k, I don’t have recorder on my mobile)
LK: Saar is this the first kaal from Airtel, you getting?
ME: Yes
(Who cares abt the call.. Her “saar” is way too cool man!)
LK: Saar, u dint get a kaal last month after ure bill?
Me: Yeah, I got that…
(Y does she have that short syllable “aa” after everything… billa for bill. Heck, Ive gotta stop giglling. Im in office man!!)
LK: Wasi the Reprezentativa polight and carteez?
ME: Excuse me?
(What was that.. Missed that by 25 lightyears! Man, people are thinking im listening to a standup comedy on phone)
LK (guess, she heard my muffled laughter.. she was pretty serious and repeated that again): Wazz the Reprezentativa polight and carteaouz?
Me: yes… hahahahaha
(Shit! That was Polite and Courteous.. That was wicked man!! I wanna repeat my schooling in her school! Damn, did she hear my laugh)
LK: mumble.. jumble.. grumble… tumble…
(some crap I could not comprehend… I’m chocking, trying to stop laughing… GOSH!! That polite thing was something!!)
LK: Anything else you have to say saar?
ME: No thank you… muahahahahaha…..
############################################

That was it.. I actually had to disconnect the call… She was just awesome man!! I may have been rude.. But had to laught out loud!!
Keep hoping and praying that you get a call from them soon… She really made my day!!! Thank you lolla kutty..

Abhi’s PhiloFunda for the day – Throw crap around with caution… U miss the aim, ull be standing on it!

Wanted: Kalanishkov (AK-56 preferred). Working Condition (able to silence two morons). Preferably for short rent. Will pay by credit card (no money in the bank).

That’s not an ad by an associate by the D-company or a naxal (a.k.a. vijay). That’s an ad by a straight frustrated male soul (Does soul have a gender – another of my stupid questions!), who has a “Gay at home and Gay at work”. Sounds like a kinky song for the not-so-straight guys? Kick the fun aside man!

For the uninitiated (do I love clichés or what!), my roomie has been off for abt a week. He was back today. So tonite I can expect some cozy scenes at my place. Imagine the situation (this is not any role play crap, this is real man!!)

################################################################

Ur are sleeping in ur room. Its around 3 – 330 Am in the morning. U wake up to the sounds of hisses and whispers. Its takes the Bangalore chill to make u realize you are not dreaming. U look around the dark room.. It takes your pupils a while to adjust to the low light.. What do you see!! Two guys in a 2’5” ft X 6 ft bed coochi cooing under a blanket. U wish u were dreaming and go back to sleep...

U get up in the morning and rush outta the place, after a decent but rather rushed session of ablutions. Reach office. Read mails. Have Coffee. Check mails again. Wait for that ever eluding mood that has “Lets get some work done” written on it.

Then pop comes the creature into ur cabin. U can hear the theme music of Jaws playing in ur head. He asks u a question… but all you can see is the way he flutters his eyes!! This time you wish this creature was a female!! Then u let your eyes wander over him, and sadly give up all hopes. End of it you try and get over all this and wish u would hit home soon..

End of the day: U take a long way through the one-ways in Bangalore which remind of the puzzle in Jumanji. U don’t wanna go home.. Thinking abt what’s in store for you at home. No its not a steaming dinner on the table! Its not a blonde in the bath tub! It’s the daisy-flashy guy with whom u share the room (It’s only the freaking room, Mind you!!)

U feel like a prisoner on a gay island!!

################################################################

Anyways, life gotta go on. So I go an drown myself in one of the may bars in Bangalore (that are as common as the pani puri stalls in hyd).

I know I’ve been cribbing abt these guys all the time & to everyone like there is no tomorrow. I cant help it, I don’t have anything better to do!! Muahahahahahahaaa…

Now playing: 21 questions – 50 cents. Ask Sam boy for song. Our very own napster has a copy!!

P.S. PhiloFunda – Philosophical Funda!! Trust me for adding to the weight of the dictionary on VJs desk! Yo Man! That actually is this weirdo’s creation.